Wediquette Wednesday - Help for the groom

Traditionally, the bride and her family did most of the wedding planning.  Well, that time is done!  Grooms today are WAY more involved in the whole planning process.  If you are one of those men that want to be involved, but you're not really sure what you should do, here are some things just for you.


Choose your best man (wisely)
Your best man will be the guy that is supposed to be there to help you with some very important duties.  He will be in charge of the marriage license, the wedding rings, giving the first toast at your wedding reception, delivering your final checks to your vendors, organizing your bachelor party and assisting with any last minute details that need to be taken care of. 

Choose your formalwear
Be sure to set up an appointment with your formalwear merchant.  Your future bride should be with you to make sure the colors are right and the style you choose works with the formality of your wedding day.

Make your boutonniere selection
Again, you and your fiancee should go together to your chosen florist to decide on flower bouquets and boutonnieres. 

Get your groomsmen gifts
When considering what to get your attendants, you should think of their hobbies and personalities.  Here are some suggestions:

Make sure you get your marriage license!
Enough said.  Most counties require you to apply for your marriage license no more than 30 days before your wedding.  You both will need to be there and there may be blood testing that will be required.  Also, make sure to bring your marriage license to the rehearsal the night before your wedding.  The officiant will keep it and make sure it is there to sign after your ceremony.

Toast your bride
After the best man has had his moment with the microphone, you will want to toast your bride.  Make sure you spend time on this.  Think of special moments the two of you have had together and the wonderful new life you will have as a married couple.  The words you say should be written down and should come from the heart.

The rehearsal dinner
Traditionally the rehearsal dinner is the responsibility of the groom's family.  This can be anything from a formal dinner to a fun backyard bar b que.  Make sure to invite the wedding party, family, any out of town guests and the officiant.  You can invite anyone you want, but these people are a must!

Mother/ Son dance
You might not think this is important, but it is.  Choose a meaningful song and practice your steps.  Let your mother know that you appreciate and love her.

Final payments
All of your vendors will need a final payment.  Some of them will require up to 2 weeks before the wedding day, but some will be paid the day of your wedding.  It is easiest to have an envelope made out for each vendor.  When you know what the final payments are, write out the check and slip it right into the envelope.  Give the envelopes to your best man for any vendors that need their payments on the day of the wedding and have him deliver them.

The wedding night
You might want to surprise your new bride with some fruit and champagne, flowers in the room, petals on the bed, or a light late-night snack for the two of you to share when you finally are alone. 

Another thing for you to keep in mind is, your mother.  She won't have the responsibilities that the mother of the bride has, so she might not be as involved in the wedding planning.  I guarantee that she will appreciate any advice you ask of her, and any "keeping up-to-date" information that you give her.