Wediquette Wednesday - Mother of the bride

Your daughter is getting married!  This is such an exciting time for you and your daughter and by following some simple rules of etiquette the planning process should run smoothly. 









Responsibilities
The number one rule of etiquette for the mother of the bride is to know what your responsibilities are.  It is a great idea for you and your daughter and her fiancee to sit down and discuss budget and responsibilities.  Your main responsibility is to assist your daughter in the planning process.  Give advice when asked, but don't force your opinion or try to take control of the wedding.  And, be willing to do the tedious jobs - like tying 200 ribbons onto favor boxes.  It might seem like a small thing to you, but to the bride it might be very important.  Here are some general responsibilities you might have: assisting with the guest list, hosting an engagement party or bridal shower, gown shopping - mostly all of the fun stuff!

Budget
In the past it was the family of the bride that paid for the wedding and the family of the groom covered the costs of the rehearsal dinner.  Times have changed and so has this tradition.  Many more couples are covering wedding expenses on their own now.  It is a wonderful idea to discuss the budget of the wedding before any plans are made.  Before any family meetings are held to discuss who will pay for what, you should sit with your daughter and future son-in-law and tell them your ideas to get their insight.  Listen to the type of wedding they would like to have and what their hopes are regarding financial obligations.  This will help any future family discussions regarding money go smoothly. 

FYI- most wedding planners will help with this very difficult responsibility!

Attire
Tradition says that the mother of the bride has the first choice in deciding what to wear for her daughter's wedding.  If following this tradition, talk with your daughter about colors, formality and the style she would prefer.  You will want to make sure you stand out from the other guests, but not overshadow your daughter.  After you have decided on the color and style of your gown contact the mother of the groom and let her know.  The mother of the groom's dress doesn't necessarily need to match your style and color, but it should not clash.  Another important tip is to stay away from the "whites".  Tans, beige, champagne, cream and white should be avoided.  The bride may or may not want you to stay within the colors she has chosen for the wedding, but either way, the colors should not clash.  If you want to stay within the color range, don't get too "matchy" but stay complementary.

Now have fun with your daughter and enjoy this "once-in-a-lifetime" experience with her!